holding back
by evil-elven-princess
Summary: normal life was just starting to feel good. the g-pilots joined the preventors and now lived with relena. heero watched over her 24/7. that was until he left.
1. chapter 1 new mission

Ok. This is my first fic. So be nice. Please RXR.  
  
Holding back: chapter1  
  
Everything was as it should be at the sanc kingdom. Everyone lived happily together. After the war, the gundam pilots joined the preventers. All them pretty much lived in the home of the peacecrafts since they were there almost everyday. Well except one of them. He did live there. But this was only because he couldn't leave her. He wasn't ready to yet. Not until he felt she was safe.  
  
Everyone was closer than ever now. Because the g-pilots were with the preventors, they saw each other almost everyday. The person they enjoyed seeing the most was the vice foreign minister. With her amazing smile and great personality who wouldn't want to spend time with her.  
  
Aug. 19. AC. 199. (preventors hq.) " major sally. Preventor Heero is here to see you." The secretary said over the intercom. " let him in." sally replied. Heero entered the room not looking like himself. He looked preoccupied and worried. " yes Heero. What is it that you need to talk about?" " I need a mission" "but you have one already. Your to protect Relena Peacecraft." "I know. But I need a new one." " what about Relena?" "she'll be fine." " if your sure about this then fine. Here read this over. Pack things. You leave tomorrow afternoon." Sally handed him a large file. He was being sent to the other side of the world to do undercover work. ' good.' He thought to himself, ' my kind of mission'. " just one more thing before I leave." "yes, Heero?" " someone needs to protect her." " of course. He other four pilots will do that." " four? Why four. I managed with just myself?" " you don't know how good of a soldier you really are. Relena is a hard person to keep an eye on." Heero then walked out of the preventors hq, and went to his car. He drove back to the mansion to get his things.  
  
( peacecraft mansion) when Heero walked into the masion, everyone was gone. ' where is everyone?' he thought to himself. Then he heard something fall. As a normal reaction he pulled out his gun. " who's there!?" he yelled. "SURPRISE!" everyone yelled as they came out of their hiding places. "happy birthday Heero." Relena said as she walked over to him. He was in shock. He got so wrapped up in his work, he completely forgot about his birthday. He felt so foolish. Soon, he felt nervous. ' I wonder how their going to take it.' After the party, Heero went upstairs. As normal Relena followed. As he stepped into his room Relena grabbed his arm and gave a worried look. " are you alright?" she said as she kissed him gently on the cheek. " yeah. I just have a lot of things on my mind."  
  
Ok.so how did you like it. I know. I know. Not the greatest right? Well come on it's my first. I'm still new to the way this site works. So I don't know when the next ch. Will be up. Hopefully within the next couple of days. Hey. If anyone can give me some hints on how this site works, please let me know. Oh. Please Review. Pretty please no flames. I may ignore them anyway but please try not to. 


	2. the goodbye

Ok. Back up and running. If you forgot what happened in the last chapter, Heero asked for a new mission. When he went home to get his things, he had apparently forgotten his own birthday. He wasn't himself so Relena was worried.  
  
Warning- this one is a song fic. If you want, ignore the lyrics.  
  
Holding Back. Ch. 2. - The goodbye.  
  
*She came calling  
One early morning  
She showed her crown of thorns*  
  
The next morning Relena woke up early to the sound of something falling.  
She thought it came from her room, where she was but soon realized it  
came from the room next door. She walked out and into the next room to  
see if anyone was hurt. Of course before she knocked before she entered.  
This was really the only room she did that for. She had good reason to be  
cautious. That room was Heero's room. If she caught him off guard he  
would most likely attack her.  
  
" Heero? You in there?" she said as she slowly opened the door.  
" Shit!"  
Relena ran up to Heero seeing that the shelf in his closet collapsed on  
him.  
"You all right?' she asked while helping him up. Heero just shrugged and  
stared at her.  
" What are doing in here!" Heero snapped at her.  
" I thought I heard something fall. I came to see if were ok."  
" I'm fine." Heero said and pointed to the door, hinting to her to leave.  
  
* she whispered softly  
to tell a story  
about how she had been wronged*  
  
When Relena left his room, she wondered why he was so angry. ' was he  
angry at me for some reason?' she thought to herself. 'sure I did just  
barge in when no one answered'. ' I wonder what's wrong.' As Relena  
headed downstairs to get something to eat, she saw her good friends,  
Quatre, Trowa, Wufei, and Duo sitting in the living talking over some  
coffee.  
  
" hey guys!" Relena said as she walked over to them.  
" hey, babe." Duo said with a grin on his face.  
" something wrong Relena?" Quatre asked.  
" no. I just went to check up on Heero and he seems very stressed out. Do  
you guys know anything?"  
" nope." Trowa replied.  
" Duo, what about you? You talk to him a lot." Wufie said.  
" no clue. He seems stressed out though. I'll talk to him later."  
  
Just then Heero walked downstairs and saw everyone sitting down. He went  
to join them. ' better keep it cool. Relena already suspects something' "  
Heero, buddy! How you been?" Duo shouted from the other side of the room.  
Heero sat next to Relena and put his arm around the back of the chair to  
relax.  
  
After some coffee and breakfast, Duo, Trowa, Wufie , and Quatre headed  
over to preventors HQ. Heero stayed behind to keep an eye on Relena one  
last time before he left. He did his normal routine, a jog in the  
morning, a shower and then get ready to accompany Relena to her meetings.  
He loved his job. He really did. But he had been starting to feel  
something for Relena. He really didn't know what it was. He always tried  
to ignore his emotions and keep them inside. Everyday it became harder.  
That's why he wanted out.  
  
After getting back from the day of amazingly boring meetings, Relena went  
up to her room to shower and get changed. When she got to her room, Heero  
was standing by the door. It was if he was waiting for her. Neither of  
them said a word. Heero just smiled at her, and she returned it. Then she  
walked into her room.  
  
After making sure Relena was 'safe' he went to his own room to get the  
rest of his things together so he could leave. As he was getting his  
stuff together, he realized he left the door open. When he glanced out  
the door, there stood Relena. Somehow she looked like she knew. He  
walked over to her and smiled.  
  
" Heero, why are you packing your things?"  
" I'm leaving Relena."  
" but why? Is there something wrong? As she said this, Heero felt bad for  
her. He put his arms around her and hugged her gently.  
" I need to leave. I've been reassigned."  
" do you have to? Heero please don't leave. We'll figure something out so  
you don't have to leave.'  
" I have to."  
" Heero, I don't want you to leave. Please.", she said as tears rolled  
down her cheeks, " I'll miss you."  
  
Heero looked her as tears fell from her eyes. He thought that this would  
have been easier. He had put together the perfect excuse, but he could  
not say it.  
  
" goodbye Relena." He whispered in her ear, and then waked away from her  
to get his things. He didn't want everyone to see him leave so he used  
the window. Before he took that last step, he looked back and saw her  
crying, while staring at him as he left. ' I'm sorry relena' he said to  
himself and then jumped down from the balcony.  
  
" NO!" Relena screamed.  
  
After hearing Relena, the other four pilots who were eating dinner, ran  
upstairs as fast as their legs would carry them when they got there, they  
saw Relena sitting on the bed crying. Duo noticed that Heero had  
disappeared and saw the open window to the balcony. Quatre sat down next  
to Relena trying to calm her down.  
  
* as she lay there lifeless  
he stole her innocence  
and this is how she carried on  
  
well I guess she closed her eyes  
and just imagined everything's alright  
but she could not hold her tears  
' cause they were sent to wash away those years  
they were sent to wash away those years*  
  
it took awhile for Relena to stop crying. Quatre took her back to her  
room and tried talking to her. Duo and the others searched Heero's room  
for some answers. They noticed most of his belongings were gone, and his  
key to the mansion was left behind on his desk. They knew partially what  
happened. Why, no one knew. They never understood why he did most of the  
things he did.  
  
Back in Relena's room, Quatre was able to get a few words out of between  
all the tears and the curses. She told him that Heero left. That he was  
reassigned. Btu one thing Quatre didn't understand was why he was so  
secretive about it. In a way, he knew Heero left for more than that  
reason alone. But he hoped he wouldn't be gone forever.  
  
-meanwhile-  
  
as Heero made his way to his car, he could still see his window and the  
shadows standing there. He knew the others had gotten there already so he  
got into his car and headed for the airport. For some reason, he felt sad  
to leave. Like he was attached to something there. He missed Relena  
already. But he knew that he had to put her in the back of his mind for  
now. it was like he was going on a mission right? He kept telling  
himself, to keep back his emotions. But he still couldn't figure out why  
he felt so bad about leaving Relena. Sure they had spent a long time  
together. But did he really have feelings for her? He kissed her once or  
twice but that was it. It wasn't a big deal. He kept telling himself some  
more.  
  
When he got to the airport, sally was there to greet him and see him off  
as she did with all the soldiers.  
" are you sure you want to do this Heero?"  
" yes."  
  
Heero then walked onto the plane and found his seat. Suddenly he felt  
angry with himself. He didn't why, but he did. The whole flight, all he  
did was daydream and think about Relena and his friends( if you could  
call the friends). He couldn't stop thinking if this was right thing to  
do. Slowly, he was able to fall asleep. In just ten hours he would be at  
his destination.  
  
*my angers violent  
but still I'm silent  
when tragedy strikes at home  
  
I know this decadence  
is shared by millions  
remember your not alone*  
  
when Heero arrived at his new apartment, his anger finally took over. He  
pretty much trashed the place. After a while, he calmed down and started  
unpacking. He unpacked his clothes and set up his laptop. Then, he found  
the picture of himself and Relena. He thought he had left it behind. He  
put it in his dresser drawer and that's where it stayed.  
  
-back at the mansion-  
  
as it got later, the four former g-pilots decided to stay and keep an eye  
on Relena. Of course, for moral support. They knew how much she cared for  
him. Maybe even loved him.  
  
" goodnight Relena."  
" goodnight Quatre. Thank you."  
" your welcome." Quatre said as he left Relena's room and headed for his  
own.  
  
That night, Relena couldn't sleep. All she think about was Heero. When  
she did fall asleep, he was there too. Relena hoped he was the same way.  
if she couldn't sleep because of what he did, than neither can he.  
  
" Heero, where are you going? Come on!" " Relena, hurry up. Your going to  
miss it." Relena and Heero sat down on the hill and watched the sun set.  
It was beautiful. It was amazing how the so-called Perfect Soldier could  
be so kind at times. " wow. I want this to last forever. Heero, promise  
me you won't leave." " I can't. but if I do leave I'll be sure to tell  
you ahead of time." " Heero, just promise me." Relena looked at him at  
smiled, while laying her head on his shoulder. " I promise.  
  
*for we have crossed many oceans  
and we labor in between  
in life there are many quotients  
and I hope I find the mean*  
  
so. How did you like part two. I think this one is a little longer than  
the other one but hey. I'm trying. Oh by the way the song is wash away  
those years by creed. Please let me know what you think. Please review! 


	3. remembering

Hey. Sorry I haven't posted. I've been extremely busy. Anyway. Here's chapter three. Hope you like it. Oh!! Almost forgot. I don't own GW or any of its characters. Damn Bandai does.  
  
Holding back chapter 3: remembering  
  
The next morning, Relena woke up to the sun in her eyes and a beautiful day. Although, to her, it was anything but beautiful. She was lonely. She missed Heero. She still couldn't figure out why he left. She thought it was something she had done, but how? What did she do that was so wrong? What did she do that made him leave?  
  
Relena quietly went to the bathroom, took a shower and got ready to work. Sure it may have been Saturday, but there are no weekends for the Vice Foreign Minister. In a way, she was glad she had to work. Hopefully it would keep her mind off Heero for a while.  
  
" Relena! You ready?" Duo asked as he came through the door. " Yes Duo. Let's go"  
  
As they went to the car, Duo noticed that Relena wasn't her cheery self. She had her head down and never looked into his eyes when she spoke to him. There was no smile on her face either. It was like she was ripped apart and trying to forget about the pain. When they sat in the car and were on their way to the first meeting of the day, Relena sifted through her papers, trying to remember her speech. She practiced it a few times with Duo.  
  
She seemed calm now. Like she had forgotten about the night before. She actually had some form of a smile on her face. When they finally made it to their destination, Duo helped Relena out of the car. She smiled at him and thanked him. Then, they went inside.  
  
Duo was always bored at her meetings. Nothing but old men yelling and arguing with one another. Relena would say a few words once I a while, but it still was boring. Duo stayed in the back of the room, watching. He needed to make sure Relena was safe at all times. It was his job. To protect one of his best friends. He liked it. The only thing he didn't like was sitting in during these boring meetings.  
  
Three hours later  
  
Relena sat back in her chair and relaxed while the delegates left the room. ' Finally' she thought to herself. She was exhausted. She had been sitting listening to these same men for three hours. It was boring. Except for when she had to interfere and calm them down before a fight broke out.  
  
She was somewhat happier than before. She had a smile on her face and smiled at Duo as he came and sat next to her while she started to get her things together. After she placed her papers in her briefcase, she picked it up and got ready to leave. When she picked up her briefcase, it opened up. She forgot to lock it before grabbing it. Duo helped her gather her papers. As Relena picked her papers off the floor, she found a small picture. She looked at it and tears started to fall down her cheeks.  
  
It was a picture of her and Heero at the last Christmas ball. He was actually smiling. Of course Relena was too. It was the first time she had had so much fun. She loved it. Her and Heero spent a lot of time together that night. Even Heero had fun. Which was strange for him. She missed every moment of it. His touch and his smile. She missed his company. Without him nothing was he the same.  
  
Duo came closer to her and wiped away her tears. " Hey. You okay?" Duo asked while holding her. " Why. Why did he leave, Duo?" " Who knows? I don't think anyone does." " Was.was it me? Was it something I did?" Duo stood up and waved his arms in the air in surprise. " Of course not, Relena! Don't think like that!" " Do you think he'll come back?" " Who knows? Hey! What am I saying? He's the perfect soldier and your guard. He'll be back" ' you better come back. You're hurting her. Don't you know that?' he thought to himself. " Come on Relena. Let's go'  
  
With that last thing said, they went out to the car and headed back for the mansion. Relena had two hours before her next meeting. Duo knew she needed time to relax before then.  
  
When they arrived back at the mansion. Quatre and the others were still there. They said they wouldn't leave, so they didn't. They greeted Duo and Relena at the door. Quatre looked at Duo and knew something was wrong. Relena went to her room, and Duo and the others went to the kitchen. Quatre decided to ask Duo what was wrong and he told all of them about the picture and how Elena was extremely upset.  
  
When Relena was in her room, she laid down on her bed and began to cry. She kept remembering how happy she was when Heero was around. She couldn't get him out of her mind. It was torturing her. She wanted to die. She missed him so much. She didn't know what to do. Eventually, she felt sleep overcome her and fell asleep. Until she was woken up by Quatre, who was sitting at the bottom of her bed.  
  
" You alright Relena?" he asked her. " I'm fine. Just tired I guess." " If you need anything, let me know." " Thanks Quatre." " Your welcome Miss Relena" As he walked out her door Relena sat up and waved her hand, telling him to wait. " Hey Quatre?' " Yes?" " Can you cancel my meetings for me please. I don 't feel well. I need a break." " Sure Relena."  
  
' I wish there was more I could do for her. She has lost the one thing that kept her strong. For her sake Heero, you better return' Quatre thought to himself as he exited the room and headed down stairs. When he went downstairs, he went to the study and canceled all of Relena's meetings for the day. Then, he went back to see the others who were now in the living room.  
  
" You were right." Quatre said to Duo as he went and sat down. " Told you it was bad." " You canceled all of her meetings. Didn't you?" trowa asked. " Yeah. She said she wasn't feeling good." " Of she's not feeling good. Heero hurt badly this time. He's going to pay when I get my hands on him." Duo said as he imitated how he was going to strangled Heero to death. " Women are just weak." Wufie added, " He wanted to leave. You all know that." " But why?" Duo replied as he sat back in his chair.  
  
The rest of the day, no one ever saw Relena. They guessed that she was still in her room. Probably trying to figure out the same thing they were. Trying to find out where Heero could have gone. 


	4. mission 1: forget Relena

Hey everyone. Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Anyway, here's chapter 4.

Mission 1: forget Relena

After settling into his new apartment, a week later, Heero faced his first mission. He had to forget Relena. If he didn't, he would never be able to stay where he was and complete his future missions.

He was hundreds, even thousands of miles away from her and he had nothing out that reminded him of his friends or Relena. Or so he thought. While going through his drawers, Heero came upon a small-framed picture. In it, were five young men and a very beautiful woman. 

The picture was taken during Relena's Christmas party that past year. For once in his life, he actually felt happy and at home. He finally felt like he belonged.

~~~~~~~flashback~~~~~~

December 24th- Christmas eve

The ground was covered in snow and the sky was filled with stars. The five gundam pilots, along with Zechs, Noin,Hilde,and of course Relena were enjoying themselves , singing, laughing, and exchanging gifts. It had been a while since all of them had gotten together, so this was very special to them. Especially, Heero.

It took Heero over two months to figure out what to get his friends and even longer to find Relena a present. It had to be special, but he was also on a tight budget. He seemed to manage though.

" Heero," Relena started, " Here. This is for you." She smiled as she handed him his gift. Heero looked at it and then back at Relena. He smiled and said 

" thanks"

When he opened it, inside was a picture of Relena and him at one of the balls they attended. Heero then gave Relena her gift and said 

" it's not much."

But it was enough for her. It was a small gold locket. No picture inside of course, because he had none.

" Heero, can you help me put it on?" Relena asked as he placed it around her neck.

" do you like it?"

" no. I don't Heero." She smiled and then said to him, " I love it. I really do." 

She then gave him a kiss on the cheek and went to help Hilde stop Duo from eating all the food. Heero watched as she walked away. He leaned back in the chair and smiled. His life was finally going the way he wanted it to.

~~~~~end flashback~~~~~

Heero remembered that day, as if it were yesterday. He still had that picture Relena gave him too. He cherished it. It was the only thing he ever kept out. Because it was difficult to put his past behind him, Heero decided to put the picture away and forget about it till it was okay to return it to its rightful place on his dresser. 

The next day, Heero decided to do some exploring. This was a new place to him, so he wanted to know get as familiar with it as possible. He wanted to know every alleyway , every dark corner, pretty much every nook and cranny. As he strolled down the streets, it began to downpour. Before he could go for cover, he was soaked. The closest thing to him was a bar. 'just what I need' he said to himself as he entered the noisy bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

~~~~~many drinks and a few fights later~~~~

After awhile, Heero decided to leave before he was kicked out. He really didn't feel like doing anything else, so he went home. When he got there, he noticed a message on his laptop. He thought it was Dr.J., but to his surprise, it was someone else. It was the one person, or rather one of the people he did not want to see or talk to right now. It was Duo. How Duo was able to relay a message to his laptop was beyond him. Usually the only person who is able to do that is Dr. J. He didn't know how or why. Well, he kind knew why. When he opened the he was greeted by a very pissed off Duo Maxwell. Apparently, he wasn't finished recording yet.

" well, well, you son of a bitch! How could you do this to Relena? Huh!"

Heero was silent.

" answer me Heero! Don't you turn this off either! You know I'll keep calling!"

" what do you want Duo." Heero asked calmly.

"what do I want! I want you to come back. You left without telling anyone! Well, except Relena. She's heartbroken you idiot! She won't leave her room. She won't eat. How could you do this to all of us……to her. Come on buddy. Get it through you thick head. She loves you."

"I had to Duo."

" no you didn't. we heard the whole thing from lady Une. You are such a jackass."

"Where's Relena?" Heero asked in as calm a voice as possible.

" in her room trying to kill herself, probably." Duo replied.

" go get her."

" what! Do you know what that would do to her!"

" just do it, Duo!" Heero snapped. Heero then leaned back in his chair and sighed. He was wondering what to say to Relena.

~~~~~meanwhile~~~~

Duo went to go get Relena as Heero demanded. He could have easily shut the thing off and called back when both he and Heero were calmed down a bit, but he didn't. He felt like he needed to do this. When he got to Relena's room, the door was locked. He knocked several times, but noone answered. Now, he was getting worried.

"Relena? Come on. Let me in. it's me, Duo. Come on." 

" go away! Leave me alone Duo!" she shouted back.

" you okay atleast?"

noone answered.

Duo was worried so he decided to pick the lock. He was in there in no time.

" Relena?"

" I told you to leave!" she yelled as a vase was thrown at his head.

"hey. Someone wants to talk to you." He paused a moment and then said, " it's Heero."

"Heero? I don't want to talk to him." She said angrily.

" do it for him. I think something's wrong."

" what could be wrong with him. Huh?"

" I think he's having problems adjusting."

" so? Why do I care?"

" please."

Finally, Relena went with him.

~~~~Heero's apartment~~~

Heero was getting worried. By the time Duo came back, he was thought he would go nuts. Duo looked very concerned. Just then, Relena was on the screen. Heero noticed her red eyes and wet cheeks. She also looked as if she was losing weight. 

"Heero? Is that you?" Relena asked quietly.

Heero was silent.

" Heero? Why did you leave? Are you there Heero?"

" Relena. I. I had to."

" had to! You bastard! Une said you insisted." Relena was furious.

"please Relena. Don't be mad. I need you to do something for me."

"what."

"promise me you'll forget me and go on with your life."

"no! I can't!"

"please Relena."

By now, tears were rolling down her cheeks. Heero wanted so bad to just wipe them away, but he was too far away to do so.

" I love you, Heero. I can't forget the man I love."

"Relena. Don't."

"come on Relena. You should really get something to eat and then get some rest." Duo said as he gently pushed Relena out the door. He then said before signing off, " she's sick Heero. Real sick."

After the screen had faded and turned black, Heero's heart began to race. 'sick? From what? was it because of me?' he said to himself. He was so frustrated because he couldn't do anything. He was also alittle confused and very concerned. He just kept seeing Relena's crying face and hearing her trembling voice. He could tell she wasn't well and wanted so much to just hold her in his arms. But he knew he couldn't. He would never be able to.

All night, all he did was think. He was trying so hard to complete in his mission, but couldn't. any mission he ever had to complete in the past, that had to do with Relena, he failed. He didn't know why though. These feelings he had were new to him. He was so confused.

~~~~back at Relena's~~~~

" Relena. Come on. You have to eat." Zechs said trying to convince his sister to eat.

" I'm fine. Really. I'm not hungry that's all."

" Relena, you're never hungry then."

Relena shrugged her shoulders and left the table. She then headed for her room. On her way down the hall, she Wufie came by.

" Relena!" Wufie shouted.

" what Wufie." Relena asked quietly.

" I heard about your talk with that bastard. It's very dishonorable running from your fears, you know. A person should always face them instead of running."

" I know. And he probably knows too. Well, if you'll excuse me , I'm going to bed."

"sure. Just don't get upset over him. Like I said. He's a coward. Cowards aren't worthy of a person's heart as pure as yours."

Wufie then watched Relena walk down the hall towards her room.

'what a shame' he said to himself as e went downstairs.

~~~~back in Heero's apartment~~~~

Many thoughts went through his mind as he lay in his bed staring at the ceiling. Heero finally found sleep upon him, just to wake up the next morning to the sun shining in his face and……..his next mission.

Mission status: failed


	5. growing anger

Holding back ch 5

Hey everyone. Sorry for not updating. School is getting crazy now. Well, enough chatter. Here's ch 5. It may be short but oh well I tried.

Growing anger

"Relena? Can I come in?" Noin asked.

" Relena! Open this door!" Zechs yelled.

" Milliardo Peacecraft! Don't yell. It will only make things worse," Noin said to her husband.

" Relena. Please, at least let me in. Talking will make things better. Trust me."

" Noin, don't let my brother in."

" Fine sweetheart."

Noin told Zechs to leave as she entered Relena's room. She was shocked when she saw the normally clean room a mess. There were broken vases on the floor and glass from a mirror that joined them. The bear Heero had given was also on the ground, along with sheets and many other things.

Noin sat on the sheetless bed and looked around the room again. It looked like there was a fight. Noin of all people knew that it was a fight between herself. When Relena walked out of the bathroom, she sat on the bed, next to her sister-in-law. She didn't look at her though. She didn't want Noin to see she was upset.

"Relena. It's alright," Noin said while holding her sister-in-law close and stroking her hair.

" I hate him! I hope he never comes back. You know why he left? He said because he had to. Is he that afraid of me?"

" He's not afraid of you. I think he's afraid of what he's feeling."

" Wufie was right, you know. Cowards don't deserve a person's love. Heero definitely deserve mine."

"I don't think that's true. Now clean up your face and come downstairs for dinner."

" I'm not hungry"

"Fine." Noin said to Relena as she left the room. She decided to look for a very dead or soon to be dead Wufie Chang. She found him sitting at the table with Duo. She gave both of them a smile and then went to sit down next to her husband.

During dinner, Wufie, Trowa, and Quatre were silent. Duo was stuffing his face as usual. Noin stared at Wufie all through dinner. Zechs noticed how disturbed his wife was and asked her what was wrong. Noin just looked at him and stared right back at Wufie. Zechs remained quiet. He was worried about his wife's temperament, but more concerned about his sister who again did not come down to eat.

After dinner, everyone left the table to do whatever they were doing earlier. Noin stopped Wufie before he entered his room.

" How is she?' Wufie said, " what?"

"She's horrible. Now listen. Why don't you stick your honor somewhere else."

Wufie gave her a stare and then walked into his room. Noin went back downstairs. When Noin went downstairs, Zechs was waiting for her on the couch. She sat down next to her husband, and laid her head on his shoulder.

" What did he do?'

" Nothing Zechs. He just said a few things he shouldn't have. That's all."

As Zechs watched TV, Noin fell asleep. When Noin woke up, she was alone on the couch. She could hear yelling in the hall, so she went to investigate. Everyone, including Relena, were arguing about something, but couldn't figure out why.

" Milliardo, I will not leave!" Relena yelled.

" Relena, maybe a vacation would do you good?" Quatre said.

"No!" she yelled again.

" Hey! Come on Relena. How about me and Hilde just take you somewhere to eat maybe. You need to get out of this house of this house."

" Good idea. Relena, you go out with Duo and Hilde. It will do you good. Noin added.

" I'll think about it. Now leave me alone!" Relena said as ran up stairs to her room and slammed the door. Then, all eyes turned on Wufie. Somehow, everyone knew about the encounter between him and Relena.

" You know. Heero isn't such a bad guy, Wufie. You know him. He'll come back. Duo said as he went to see Relena.

As he went upstairs, he heard more arguing and then saw Wufie fly into the wall. Apparently, he something to Zechs he shouldn't have.

When Duo entered Relena's room, he too saw how destroyed it was.

" Hey reel." he said as he sat next to her on the bed. He could tell she was holding back tears. When she looked at him, it was as if he was saying go ahead. Cry. So she did. Duo held her in his arms consoling her. After she stopped crying, he helped her clean her room. After a while, he was actually able to get her to smile, but at one point there was only silence then, the silence was broken by Relena's sigh.

"You know? I hate him. I really hate him."

"Hey come-on. Give him another chance Relena."

"No. I've waited so many years for him to show he cared. He has no more time. I've given up on him."

"Don't give up on him. I know he loves you. He's just afraid to say so."

Relena was silent.

" Hey. You going with us to eat? Hilde would love it if you came."

" I don't know."

" Come on. Please." Duo said looking at Relena with his puppy dog eyes he always uses to get his way. " I bet you'll eat too."

" Is that why? Because I haven't eaten?"

" No. But Relena, you haven't eaten in almost a week. That's not good. We're all worried."

"I'm fine. And yes. I guess I'll go."

" Yes!" Duo shouted as he jumped in the air and then, hugged Relena. Then, he left the room.

When Duo went downstairs, he saw Wufie sitting at the table while Sally got him an ice pack.

"Hey. You alright wu-man." Duo asked

" You should have seen him earlier. He was unconscious. Zechs beat him up bad. He would have killed him if the others didn't intervene…. Oh here Wufie." She said as she handed Wufie the ice pack, which he placed on his eye.

"Wow! That bad huh. Hey Wu-man. What are you doin tomorrow night? You want to come with us?"

"She's going?"

"Yeah. I'm going to see if the others want to go to. I think she needs time alone with her friends."

"Sure." Wufie said as he went to go lie down on the couch. Sally also went. She sat down by Wufie's feet as he fell asleep, head resting on the arm of the couch. Sally sat and watched some TV.

~~~The next day~~~~

Duo, Hilde, Quatre, Trowa, and Relena were getting ready to go to dinner. That was, until Zechs found out Wufie was going.

Ok.well? How was it? I need to know, so review. Oh before I forget. Thank you to everyone who's ever reviewed. I won't have the next chapter up for a while but you never know.

I don't own gundam wing either. Bandai does. That sucks. (That's for further reference just in case.) ttyl.


	6. the dinner from heaven? nah hell!

Holding back ch. 6

Hey! I got this up real fast.

Ch 6 The dinner from heaven? Nah hell.

"Where do you think you're going?" Zechs yelled.

" What do you think I'm doing. I'm going out." Relena said.

" Not you. Him!" Zechs said as he stared at Wufie.

"Hey! Hey! Give him a break Zechs. I'm sure he's sorry. Right Wufie?" Duo said as he stepped between the two men. Wufie stared at the ground and nodded. Relena grabbed Wufie and pulled him out the door, ignoring her brother's yelling.

Duo was afraid to leave. When he did, he knew a good pounding was on the way. Soon, they were on their way. When they got there they were all hungry. Duo of course, claimed that Hilde had been starving him and he couldn't wait to eat.

~~~~One hour later~~~~

They were still at the restaurant. Duo of course hadn't stopped eating. He was still stuffing his face as usual. While the others slowly finished their meals, Relena sat quietly, eyes wandering. Of course, she still didn't eat. Duo joked around with her, trying to spoon feed her or saying that he would melt if she didn't eat.

She was happy to be with all her friends, yet, her mind wondered. Amazingly, Duo had stopped eating and was now staring at Relena. He could tell something was wrong, but he couldn't figure it out. He knew it wasn't Heero, so, what was it?

"Hey! I got an idea. Why don't we hit this new club down the street?" Duo suggested.

"Good idea Duo!" Hilde shouted as she jumped out of her seat and pulled Duo away from the table. Duo left the money on the table before was dragged out the door. The others smiled and laughs were exchanged while they joined Duo and Hilde in the car.

The club was exactly how Duo had described it in the car. It was packed, loud, but it had great drinks. The only problem was trying not to let anyone recognize Relena. That was easy though. There were so many drunk people, who would recognize her here, especially since her appearance has drastically over the past week.

Immediately, Duo and Hilde were on the dance floor. Soon, Quatre and Trowa found dance partners, and they joined them. Wufie eventually left to get a drink at the bar. Relena was left alone.

~~~~~2 hours later~~~~

Duo and Hilde realized that Relena was left alone. Hilde felt bad and dragged Duo back to the table with her. Then, Hilde had Duo take Relena to dance. Hilde noticed how down she looked and thought Duo could help. Hilde joined Wufie at the bar.

"Hey Duo? You and Hilde should take this dance."

"Nah. Don't worry Relena. She's fine. I actually think she might be alittle tired."

"Oh" she replied as she held on to Duo and danced to the slow music. Duo could tell something was definitely something wrong. But, it wasn't like something was bothering her. Well, maybe something was bothering her, but he could tell she wasn't well. Of course, you can't call a person that hasn't eaten in a week well.

After the song, Duo and Relena went back to the table where the others were. It was now about 11o'clock and Relena, Quatre, and Trowa were tired. Of course, Duo and Hilde could have stayed out all night. So, they went back to Relena's house.

When the got there, Zechs was still up. Apparently, he was waiting for them to bring his sister home. When Relena walked through the door, all Zechs did was scream. Why are you late? All you were suposed to do was go to eat! Did you even eat anything? Zechs kept ranting and raving nonstop.

Eventually, Duo got annoyed and yelled, " we took her to a dance club! And come on! She's old enough to drink! I think she's old enough to go out on her own!"(In sank, you had to be at least 18 to drink)  


" I would watch what you say, Maxwell! How dare you take her to a place like that." Zechs yelled as he landed a punch in Duo's gut. Duo flew to the floor in pain. Relena ran over to help Hilde get Duo to his room, while the others and Noin held Zechs back.

After Duo had settled down, Relena went to her room. She was exhausted, but she couldn't fall asleep. When she did, she was haunted by a very handsome, very familiar ghost.

~~~~Dream~~~~

The sky is dark. It's down-pouring. Relena can't even see her hands in front of her face. Then, a familiar figure placed its hands on her waist. When she turned around, her ghost just smiled at her. Relena was happy to be in its arms.

" Heero." She whispered as she was pulled closer to the figure's body. Then, it became bright. Now, the figure wasn't in the shadows anymore. Now, he was holding her tight and close to him. Relena felt so safe. She closed her eyes and laid her head on her soldier's chest. When she opened her eyes, she was alone again.

Only, this time, she was on a battlefield. It was filled with lifeless bodies and destroyed mobile suits. Then, she heard the click of the safety of a gun. Then, a shot was heard. She saw her perfect soldier fall to the ground. She ran to him and held him tight. Slowly, his body became still. Tears ran down her cheeks. When she looked up from the dead body, the gun was now pointed at her. She closed her eyes awaiting death. Tears were flowing down her cheeks. Then, there was silence.

When she opened her eyes, she saw four young men walking toward her. It was the other four-gundam pilots. As they got closer, a bomb went off. The four pilots were thrown into the air.

~~~~~End of dream~~~~

"Nooooo!" Relena yelled as she sat up in her bed. When she looked at her clock, it read 2:30. 

'It's so early' Relena said to herself as she got out of bed. She couldn't bare to have the same dream she had had for the past few nights. So, she decided to go for a walk in her garden.


	7. another message

Hello. Here's ch. 7.

Holding back ch7.

In the morning, Noin went to check on Relena. When she knocked on the door, there was no answer. She figured that Relena was asleep, so she opened the door to just make sure.

When Noin looked into the room, Relena's bed was empty. She called Relena's name, but there was no answer. She searched the bathroom, and then her room again for any sign of a kidnapping. But there was none.

Now, Noin was worried. She didn't know where Relena could have gone this early in the morning. 'Maybe she just went for a walk'. Noin decided not to say anything till she was sure something was wrong. When she was finished searching the mansion, she went outside. She searched the stables and the park. The only place she didn't look was Relena's favorite place…the gardens.

The sun was shining brighter than before. It was going to be a hot day. The gardens were large and were a lot of time to search.

The, Noin realized that the most likely place was the center of the gardens. When she got there, she didn't see Relena. That was until the sun's rays shown in the corner near the fountain.

Noin ran over to Relena. She tried to wake her with no success. She gently picked the girl up and walked as fast as she could back to the mansion. When she walked through the doors, she met up with Quatre. 

"What happened?" he asked.

"I don't know. Go. Call a doctor. Quickly!"

Noin placed Relena on the couch.

As Quatre went to call a doctor, he bumped into Duo.

'Hey. What's wrong Quatre?'

" It's Relena. Go get Zechs."

"Right"

When the doctor arrived, everyone was downstairs. All of them, except Zechs and Noin were told to leave the room. Duo ran upstairs while the others tried to listen to the conversation on the other side of the door.

When Duo got upstairs, he went straight to his computer.

' I have to get him to come back. For Relena's sake.'

~~~~~Heero's apartment~~~~~

~Beep~~~beep~~

Heero awoke from his sleep. He saw a light flashing on his laptop. When opened it, he was greeted by a very concerned Duo.

"Hey. Heero. You there?"

" Yeah Duo" Heero said groggily.

" Hey it looks like you just woke up."

"Time change. What do you want?"

"You to come back."

"I can't. I'm busy."

"Busy! Busy!? Heero. I need you to come back. For Relena's sake." Duo said. He then sighed and continued, "Heero, listen to me. She's sick. While you've been away, she's been throwing her own life away. I think she's dying."

" what?"

"she's dying Heero."

"I'll come back as soon as I can. Take care of her Duo."

"you bet buddy."

When the screen became blank, Heero leaned his back against the wall. He couldn't imagine how Relena could have gotten so sick. He also didn't understand why she would throw her life away. Again he felt as if it was his fault.

~back at the peacecraft mansion

" well? How is she?" Duo asked the others when he came downstairs.

"not good." Quatre replied.

" her body has been deprived of nourishment for too long. He body can't holdout anymore." Trowa added.

" they took her to the hospital right before you came downstairs." Wufie said.

" when can we go see her?"

"later on tonight. Duo." Quatre said as he walked into the living room.

" hey. I thought you went too?" Trowa asked.

" someone needs to bring Relena some of her belongings." Noin said.

She the went upstairs to Relena's room to gather some things. She packed all the essentials. Clothes, hairbrush etc.

~a few hours later~

Noin decided it was about time, that she and the others go to see Relena. She was also worried about Zechs.

When they got there, Noin found Zechs sitting in the lounge. Apparently, no one was allowed in yet. Just then the doctor came in. he told them that they could see her, but only immediate family. The gundam pilots still tried to go see Relena, but the doctor was smarter than they thought.

"come-on! We are family! Let us through!" Duo shouted.

" sorry. Only immediate family."

" let us through!!" Duo yelled as he clenched a fist and was getting ready to punch the doctor.

Afraid of what the man might do, the doctor let them through. When they saw Relena, she was connected to all sorts of monitors and machines. It was not a very pleasant sight.

Noin sat down next to Zechs, who for the first time, cried. Quatre and the others stood around the room. Some prayed while others didn't know what to do.

" come on Zechs. It's late. You need to rest. Noin told her husband as she looked at the clock. Noin and Zechs left the room to go home. The others did the same.

Everyday or the next few weeks, the gundam pilots, Zechs, and Noin, went to see Relena. As usual, Zechs was reluctant as not to leave his sister's side. There was also the occasional visit by Hilde, Cathy, Sally, Une, and Dorothy. The only person the hasn't come was Heero.

~back at Heero's apartment~

Heero was trying even harder now to complete his mission. He had been on four official missions already, but this was the hardest. Right now, he was at the enemy's base. He had planted a few bombs to set off once he got out of there. But thing went completely wrong. He was spotted and if that wasn't bad enough, somehow, the bombs were reset to a timer.

As Heero ran to try and get away, his whole plan backfired. As he was running down a corridor, he heard the enemy coming. Since there was no place to hide, all he could do was run. Guns were fired. Heero was shot in his shoulder and in his legs several times. He was in excruciating pain, but it didn't stop him.

"shit!" he yelled as the time bomb went off, thus setting off the other bombs at the same time he was thrown into the air and landed a few feet away from where he originally was. Luckily, he was still alive and stopped the enemy.

When he made it home, he was in horrible pain. He was bruised, cut up and he had quite a few gunshot wounds. His training came in handy when he was able to clean himself up. He then, took some painkillers, (lots of them) and went to go to bed. Before he fell asleep, he decided he had had enough and was going to book a flight to the Sank Kingdom and go home.

When Heero woke up the next morning, he went on his computer and booked a flight. He wanted to get back soon, but he wanted to make sure he didn't look like he got the shit beat out of him either.

Sorry if this was short. Oh I do not own gundam wing or its characters either. Till next time. Bye!


	8. going home

Hey everyone! Here's ch 8. Hope u like it. Oh thanx for the reviews too. I really appreciate them. Oh yeah I do not own any of the gundam wing characters. I wish I did but I don't. Oh well

Holding back ch8.

Going home

Day's turned into weeks. Weeks turned into well about a month. Finnally, Heero was going home. It was strange to him, but he actually missed his friends and Relena. As he finished putting his last shirt into the suitcase, and packed up his laptop, he took one last look at his extremely small apartment. Then, he was out the door to the airport.

The airport was extremely crowded. After finding his gate, he went to get something to eat. While he was eating, he lost track of the time. As he ran back to his gate, he yelled for someone to hold up the plane. Lucky for him, the stewardess heard him. He made it just in time.

The flight was somewhat boring. Nothing to do but sleep. He was still allitle sore from the mishap a few weeks ago. So, he sat and thought for a bit. He had spoken to Duo a few times before he left. He was told that Relena was in a coma and he wondered if he would make to her in time.

A few hours later, Heero's plane landed. Once he was off the plane, he went to call Duo, who was going to pick him up. He found a payphone and called Duo's cell.

"Hello?" the voice on the other end said.

" Duo. It's me"

"Heero 'ol buddy! You back already?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I'll be there in about 45 minutes."

"Fine. Hey. How's Relena?"

"She's slowly coming out of the coma, but nothing major."

"Alright. I'll see you later. Bye." Heero said as he hung up the phone.

After Heero got off the phone, he went to get his suitcase. Then, he decided to get something to eat. After he finished he went outside to wait for Duo.

~15 minutes later~

Duo came up the ramp in his new sports car. Heero didn't recognize him at first, so he blew the horn. When Heero noticed him, he went over to see his friend.

"Hey! We've missed you. How you been!"

"Fine. Let's just go."

"Sure. So…how was your flight?"An excited Duo asked.

"Boring."

Then there was silence the rest of the way to the peacecraft mansion.

After Heero had settled in and unpacked, he asked to see Relena right away. Duo told him to rest a bit and they would go tomorrow, but Heero declined.

When they got to the hospital, Heero was greeted by his friends. Even Zechs was alittle glad to see him.

Immediately after saying his hellos, Heero went to see Relena. He couldn't bare seeing Relena hooked up to all those monitors. She looked horrible. Although, he was told she looked better than she did before.

Heero sat in the by Relena's bed and held her hand. He caressed her hands and kissed them. Heero turned around when he heard the door, but then turned his attention back to Relena. He pushed her hair out of her face and kissed her pale lips.

For the first time in his life, he cried. He wanted to Wisk her away. Take her away forever. But she was trapped in a hospital bed. As it became later, the others left. They tried to convince Heero to go too, but he refused. That night, he stayed with Relena.

In the morning, Heero woke to the sound of the door opening. Duo came in and was now right behind him. Duo put a hand on his shoulder.

"Sleep well?" Duo asked.

"Hn." Heero replied.

"Doctors came in while you were asleep. I think your getting alittle rusty. Huh? Don't know how you sleep like that. It can't be comfortable." Duo said referring to how Heero was sitting in the chair.

"You should get something to eat buddy."

"Hn"

"Come on Heero. Go on. I'll stay here."

Heero then got up and left to get something to eat. When he entered the small café, he was greeted by the rest of his friends. They ate and exchanged stories. Then, they went upstairs to see Relena. The day went by slowly. The usual parade of doctors and nurses came in throughout the day. It was rather quiet.

As the day turned into night, the others had finally left. Heero had again stayed with Relena. Heero became hungry, so he went to the nearest vending machine. He squeezed Relena's hand to let her know he would be back. He smiled when he felt her return the gesture.

When he returned, nothing had changed. Duo had requested they put a cot in there for Heero to sleep on, so that's where he was. He moved the small cot to as close to Relena as he could. Slowly, he fell asleep with Relena's hand in his own.

~Dream~

It was dark. Heero was in bed. A very strange bed. He was very confused. When he rolled over, he saw an angel beside him. He passed his hand threw her hair. It was soft.

Then, the angel woke from her sleep. She stared at him and then smiled.

"What's wrong? You alright?"

Heero didn't answer.

"Heero? You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

It was silent until Heero said to his angel, "Relena. I love you."

" I love you too and so does your daughter." She then kissed him and laid back down. Heero fell asleep again, only to awake to the sound of monitor's beeping.

~End dream~

When Heero woke up, monitors were beeping. The doctors ran into the room. Heero was shoved out the door.

Duo was there waiting for him. Heero didn't know what was going on, until Duo told him that Relena had gone into cardiac arrest.

Heero was extremely worried. Duo forced him downstairs. He sat there in silence with his face in his hand. Just then, Duo came back downstairs.


	9. the angel lives

Hello there. Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been pretty busy with school and all. Anyhow. Here's chapter 9. Oh and I don't own any of the gundam wing characters either.

Chapter 9

The angel lives

" Heero!" Duo shouted, " Come on! She wants to see you."

" She's awake?" Heero asked excitedly.

Duo nodded. Heero got up and joined Duo.

While they were in the elevator, Heero was thinking about what to say to her. In a way, he was sort of nervous. As the door to the elevator opened, Duo said " Hey. I didn't tell her it was you I was getting. I just said that I had a surprise." 

Heero smiled and followed Duo to Relena's room. As Duo entered the room, the doctors left. Heero quietly shut the door behind him.

" I'm back Rel."

"Hey Duo. Where did you go?" Relena asked. Then she noticed a person in the doorway. 

"Buddy?" Duo said while waving Heero further into the room. When Relena realized who it was, she began to cry. Heero went up to her and wiped her tears away. She smiled at him and Heero returned it. Relena stared into his beautiful blue eyes and then said, " why? Why did you leave?"

" I'll tell you about it later. Right now, you need to rest."

Relena slowly fell asleep, Heero holding her hand. Heero didn't even notice that Duo had left the room. He sat and caressed her hands. He felt happy. He had finally found where he belonged. By Relena's side.

~~~~~In the lobby~~~~~~

Duo met the others I the lobby downstairs. They were all so happy that Relena had woken up. They wanted to see her right away when Duo told them that Heero was with her, Quatre suggested that they give them time alone. They would wait until tomorrow to see Relena. The only people that would see her today were Zechs, Noin, and Heero. But even Zechs and Noin were going to wait awhile to visit her.

~~~~~Relena's room~~~~

" Heero?" Relena whispered.

" Yeah."

" I really didn't think you would come. Thank you."

" I had to." He replied as her kissed her forehead. " I love you. Relena."

" I love you too." She whispered. As she began crying.

Heero smiled and they shared a kiss. He told Relena about what he did while he was away. They both shared a few laughs. (Which was very unusual for Heero) Relena was glad that he had finally opened up to her. Occasionally, Heero would brush Relena's hair out of her face or caress her hand. He loved her and now they could finally be together. If Zechs allowed it, that is. 

When Zechs and Noin came, Heero left the room. Zechs noticed how depressed his sister became when Heero left. He became very curious. He wanted to know exactly why his sister was so upset.

After his visit, Zechs went to have a little chat with his good friend Heero Yuy. He found him in the lobby with Duo.

" Hey Zechs!" Duo yelled.

Heero turned around and noticed that Zechs did not look very happy. He tried to ignore the strange feeling in his stomach; he gets when something bad is going happen, and headed for the elevator to go back to Relena. A hand grabbed his shoulder and turned him around.

" I need to have a word with you Yuy."

"About?"

"You know what about."

" If it's about me, I'm not talking"

" No you fool! About my sister!"

" What about her?"

" She's in love. Isn't she? She's in love with you! Isn't she!"

"Hn"

" Answer me Yuy!"

" Fine. She is in love with me. And I love her. Maybe even more. And I would do anything to be with her and make her happy."

" I won't have it! I will not let my sister fall in love with an assassin!"

" You can't stop her or me for that matter. I'm not an assassin any more. I admit it took me awhile to find myself. I love her Zechs. I won't anyone get in my way. I would do anything to make her happy."

"Then tell me one thing."

"What."

" Would you die for her." He asked

" Of course."

" Fine. Then I guess I can't stop you. But be warned. I will try anything in my power to stop you. I still do not approve with her being with a man like you."

Heero was quiet. He turned and entered the elevator.

Duo heard the whole conversation. He knew Heero loved her! Now he had to run from Zechs. He knew it was his turn to do some explaining about what part he played in all this.

" Uh… got to go. Bye!" Duo said as he ran out the door.

~~~Relena's room~~~~~~

When Heero walked in, Relena was standing by the window. She was dressed in the clothes Noin had brought for her. He was shocked. How could a person wake from a coma and be able to walk and get around on there own all in the same day? He was amazed by her strength. Maybe that's what drew him to her all those years ago.

" Relena. You should be in bed."

" I can't stay in bed forever. I'm sick of being. Hospitals always give me the creeps." She then turned to Heero and said, " plus, I would really love a shower."

" Well, you can't leave yet. But then again… I'll talk to the doctor and hopefully I can convince him. If I can, I'll take you home myself. Ok?"

Relena smiled. She knew Heero would convince the doctors to let her leave. She began getting her things. A few moments later, Heero walked in, smiling. " I see you're already set."

Relena hugged him and kissed his cheek. " Let's go. I hate this place, Heero."

Well, that's it for this chapter. The next one will be pretty short. I have come down with writer's block. So, please bare with me.

Next chapter: homebound

(Please no flames and keep in mind this is my first fanfic. Don't be too hard on me. I'm trying.)


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